A Daily Strategy

Treat and speak to others only in ways that you're willing to be treated in the same exact situation. To apply it, imagine yourself in the exact place of the other person on the receiving end of the action. If you act in a given way toward another, and yet are unwilling to be treated that way in the same circumstances, then you violate the rule. you need to know what effect your actions have on the lives of others with their particular sensitivities, strengths and weaknesses (which is a trick!). Engaging in behaviors and actions that you know are unhealthy, or are resilent to, had been lucky in getting away with or just too weak to resist does not justify the extension of that activity or action to others. Solving your own ignorance and keeping an open mind in regards to appropriate behaviors is the major challenge. You need to be able to imagine yourself, vividly and accurately, in the other person's place on the receiving end of the action. With knowledge, imagination, self-awareness and the golden rule, you can progress far in your moral thinking.
We have no problem if you have a problem. However, it is our choice to make your problem our problem, so choose your problems well if you want our help. If enough people have the same problem it certainly becomes our problem.
Treat your promises, even small ones, as if it were a written contract with legal consequences. It is better to say no rather than not fulfilling what you said what you would do. Remember, that not providing information, depending on the situation, can be construed as "Lying by Omission". Be upfront with your expectations so people know exactly where you stand. This actually creates more harmony. Reflexively saying no for awhile can re-condition your attachment to other's approval by saying yes. It will give you time to reconsider and really commit to your word if you decide you can perform the action. People will respect your reliability much more with this strategy.
The origin of all true evil is the rigid adherence to beliefs, attachments and actions so that these convictions belittle the inherent worth of others and implicitly bolstering your own sense of status. Constant comparitative thinking leads to excessive competition and idea of "winners" and "losers" and "whose cool and uncool". All addictions, including "sizing up" others and absolutist stances, is a loss of freedom to choose reality. Nothing that you think or do will be be an answer to everything or be applicable in all situations and circumstances. A different set of beliefs and actions may prove more beneficial and create more harmony with the people around you. Do not believe everything that you think, especially in relation to emotionally invested activities or beliefs. Relying on absolute beliefs or attachments that create your sense of meaning can be overcome by diversifying your interests, practicing tolerance, and by finding joy in the moment. Strive to be able modify beliefs and to follow as well as lead when appropriate.
The ability to forgive and forget is the other side of the above strategies. Many people fail at the above frequently. Especially, be forgiving if it is merely your ego that has been hurt. Realization that most people are controlled by emotions and often have good and bad days can help. If the situation is extremely dangerous or creates too much real or imagined conflict, simply avoiding the situation is the best solution, till such time people come to their senses, if ever.
Sometimes, greater principles are at work then individual egos, feelings, and needs. For instance, the principles on which this country are based trumps special interests or the creation of an successful business trumps individual contributers. The collective good is one in which the needs of the many outweigh the few. Sometimes, another person's talents can better serve the greater good. Extend your self-serving interests into this realm. Looking beyond the immediate situation to see this big picture requires knowledge, imagination and acceptance.
Work to improve that which you do best and most readily. As much as possible, rely on yourself to accomplish the goals you have set but do not be ashamed to ask for help. Indeed, all of us need help in areas of your lives. It is up to you to be humble enough to recognize those areas, recognize the strengths of others and team up with those with mutual goals and values.
Concentrate first on activities related to the objectives that are most important to you. Much can be accomplished in a short time if you devote yourself to your highest priorities. Keep track of time expended in activities so that you can better monitor your daily routines. Don't succumb to the feeling that you have insufficient time to do what you want. If you focus on your major objectives, you will minmize or halt those activties that have no real importance. you will increasingly free of the pressure to pursue less important activties.
Prepare a general schedule the night before, but approach each day in a relaxed way, letting things emerge and evolve as the day goes on. Above all, seek activities you enjoy. When you finish one activity, move on to the other.
Focused and informed activity reduces fear and anxiety. Study of a task and actual effort of testing it lead to knowledge. Remembering this will take the sting out of failure, which, in fact, should be a new source of information that can assist you when you return to the task. Criticism, however unpleasent, can provide valuable information about ways to improve. Make the most of the information and resources you have, and don't dwell on potential sources of difficulty that are beyond the limited amount of information available to you. This will only magnify illusions of fear and anxiety. Postponent can become habitual and can lead to nonproductivity. Don't procrastinate by fantasizing about past failures or future problems; don't allow yourself to be distracted by opportunities for self indulgence. When you postpone an activity, you increase the the chances of never completing it, and you will be left with memories of past wishes rather than of past deeds.
How you handle an anxiety-producing situation - on the job, in the home, or in the community - will depend on your particular temperament, constitution, previous training, and experience. Don't resort to mechanical formulas to solve problems. Find the method most compatible with your own personality and lifestyle. But, try to identify conditioned responses, attitudes and beliefs that may be restricting your choices. Some "problems" are situations that allow yourself to be disturbed about. This is a choice. You can learn by emulating others, but you should strive to conduct your life and business in ways suited to yourself. New situations require new solutions. The more you look for own solutions to new and problematic situations, the more likely you will find the best approach for you. Don't blame your inaction on others and take credit for sacrificing your vision and plans on their behalf. This demeans them and creates insecurity about your true feelings.
Acting in terms of your vision (Do you have one?) will give strength in dealing with most complex situations and will minimize the psychological threats of specific situations (you will be too busy acting in terms of your vision). Ultimately, what you accomplish results from your willingness to be true to yourself. Stick to what what you find most rewarding. This will make your life more rewarding and will minimize your conflicts.
The strongest relationships develop from pursuit of a common objective or activity. This shared experience increases tolerance for difference in attitudes and values and reduces efforts to change others for the sake of having a relationship. Relationships that focus simply on "having a relationship" can prove taxing and frustating. Similarly, guard against a willingness to be so accommodating that you compromise your own identity.
The key to transformation is recognizing how trapped you are by your own mind. Notice how you keep identifying with your thoughts. See how you are trapped by your incessant thinking? See how you don't run your mind, but your mind runs you? Learn to let go of unecessary thoughts by observing the mind processes and allowing yourself to really be. The solution is to surrender to the present and do what is necessary in the moment. Notice silence and emptiness as much as form. This will reframe the context of the experience. Catch your thoughts and reactions so you have a choice of acting or communicating them. The solution is in transcending, not eliminating the ego or suppressing your responses. Daily meditation is one way to see this universal condition. Another way is more accidental, after hitting rock bottom.
Surrender means to get to a point where you can be free from self-conscious processes and mental gymnastics that now govern your life. It is based on the assumption that you already have all the potential that you need to make your life work. It is OK to be who you are and to choose the potential, interest, and inclination that you already have. You don't have to keep searching for confirmation by focusing on being someone else or being somewhere else. Surrender yourself to the next moment. Accept your potential and the world of reality as it is, trusting that everything is as it was intended to be.
In effect, despite the way you have been brought up, life is not something to be gained. Rather, it is a time or space in which to express what you already have and what you already are. When you choose what you have rather than try to escape from it, you reduce the internal split or separation that causes all the mental anguish. Only when you accept who you are and what you are trying to hide can you come alive in your life. Accept events as they are. Allow time for things to develop, and stop pushing for closure or certainty. It is not that you must be free from fear. The moment you try to free yourself from fear, you create a resistance against fear. Resistance, in any form, does not end fear. What is needed, rather then running away or controlling or suppressing or any other resistance, is understanding fear; that means watch it,learn about it, come directly into contact with it. You learn about fear, not how to escape from it, but how to resist it through courage and so on.
You already have all that you need. Your task is to merely choose what you have and to express your hidden potential by being willing to live with uncertainty and by digging deeper into yourself to find the way. The key here is taking action rather than remaining in your thoughts. What is it that you dreamed of doing as a child? What is it that you would choose for yourself if you could have anything or do anything that wanted to have or do? What would be your major choice if you could if you could temporarily put aside self-doubts, fears, and uncertainties. What action can you take that is consistent with your vision? What can you do in the next moment to move the action forward? Consider these questions and then focus on relaxing into actions that are consistent with your vision while letting go of distracting concerns about results, wins, failures, obstacles, and problems. The final result is not the point; it is improving ourselves that is valuable. There is no end to this practice.